My Vows Are Sealed (Sealed With a Kiss) Read online

  My Vows Are Sealed

  A Sealed With a Kiss Prequel Novel

  Carmen Richter

  Contents

  Prologue

  Like a Child

  I. Yours to Hold

  Chapter 1

  Jesus Freak

  Chapter 2

  She’s So High

  Chapter 3

  Can’t Erase It

  Chapter 4

  Personal Jesus

  Chapter 5

  Disappear

  Chapter 6

  Pull Me Out

  Chapter 7

  Acoustic #3

  Chapter 8

  Shifting Sand

  Chapter 9

  New Math

  Chapter 10

  Kiss From a Rose

  Chapter 11

  Fade to Grey

  Chapter 12

  Dare You to Move

  Chapter 13

  Show You Love

  Chapter 14

  Love Liberty Disco

  Chapter 15

  Art in Me

  Chapter 16

  When the Rain Comes

  Chapter 17

  Headstrong

  Chapter 18

  If God Made You

  II. When the Mountains Fall

  Chapter 19

  Love Only Knows

  Chapter 20

  Collide

  Chapter 21

  Pompeii

  Chapter 22

  Only Hope

  Chapter 23

  A Page Is Turned

  Chapter 24

  Luv Is a Verb

  Chapter 25

  Tenderness on the Block

  Chapter 26

  Whispers in the Dark

  Chapter 27

  I’ll Fight

  Chapter 28

  Truce

  Chapter 29

  Slide

  Chapter 30

  He

  Chapter 31

  What Have We Become?

  Chapter 32

  Open Wounds

  Chapter 33

  The Last Night

  Chapter 34

  Don’t Ask Me No Questions

  Chapter 35

  Stars

  Chapter 36

  Come Together

  Epilogue

  Cry

  My Lips Are Sealed Chapter 1

  Sealed With a Kiss Series

  Also By Carmen Richter

  About the Author

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2021 by Carmen Richter

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review.

  Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

  Independently published.

  Cover Design: CPR Designs

  Proofreader: K.D. Darling

  Created with Vellum

  Trigger Warning

  This book deals with the subject of child abuse, which takes place at the hand of a Southern Baptist pastor who uses his religion as an excuse for mistreating his daughter. The scenes depicting the abuse are graphic and may be triggering and disturbing for some readers.

  While there is a love story and happily ever after in this book, it’s probably the darkest book I’ve ever written. It’s NOT a dark romance. Brendan is the knight in shining armor that Darla needs. He’s fiercely protective and his love for her is intense and pure and real. She prays for help and she prays for safety, and Brendan is the answer to all of those prayers. But the reason she needs a knight in shining armor, and the reason she prays for help and safety, is written in very graphic detail. It was uncomfortable to write, it’s uncomfortable to read, and that’s the way it’s intended. Child abuse SHOULD make people uncomfortable. It should infuriate people and it should make them want to take action to stop it. If this story touches even one person and inspires them to take action, or if it helps even one survivor of child abuse to realize that they’re not alone, then I’ll have done my job.

  If you’re reading this and you’re a survivor of child abuse, or if you know someone who may be suffering right now, there are resources available to you. Here are just a few of them.

  Crisis Text Line (For All Issues)

  Text HOME to 741741

  Learn more about the text line or apply to volunteer at www.crisistextline.org.

  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

  (800) 273-8255

  Website/Live Chat

  National Domestic Abuse Hotline

  (800) 799-7233

  Website/Live Chat

  Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

  (800) 422-4453 (Call or Text)

  Website/Live Chat

  RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network)

  (800) 656-4673

  Website/Live Chat

  A Few Quick Things

  Before you start reading My Vows Are Sealed, I just want to go over a few things.

  First, when I first published My Lips Are Sealed, the epilogue left Zoe and Elijah in the summer of 2019. And then when I published My Heart Is Sealed, it jumped about five years into the future from that point, meaning that the prologue took place in 2024, chapters one and two took place in 2025, and the story really started in 2026. And when we meet Brendan and Darla’s daughter, Autumn, in My Heart Is Sealed, she’s just shy of two years younger than Zoe, River, and the rest of the gang. Yeah, I know, I kind of shot myself in the foot doing that. But in my defense, this prequel novel was not in my original plans for this series.

  I said all that to say, I did a lot of math to make sure I was getting the dates for this story right. My alpha, who helped SO much with conceptualizing this book and knows the rest of the series almost as well as I do, can tell you how crazy we drove ourselves and how we made it so much more complicated than we needed to. So, when you’re looking at this and wondering how my numbers line up, just know that I did do the math to make sure that this prequel novel was set in the accurate era for the main story, which takes place in the not-so-distant future.

  Second, some of the terminology I used in this book made me cringe, especially the word “transsexual.” But because of the time period this story is set in, I had to use accurate terms for the LGBTQ+ community for that era, especially where Ashton was concerned. I also want to mention that Ashton is based on a real person who was the same age as the character during this time period. So, while not common, Ashton’s referring to themself as “they” and using the term “genderfluid” was plausible. Likely? No. But it wasn’t completely foreign either.

  Third, this book deals with the subject of child abuse with heavy religious overtones and addresses some of the bigotry and prejudices within the Southern Baptist church. But I need to make it clear that this book is NOT intended to be any sort of statement about the Southern Baptist church (or any other denomination). I was raised Southern Baptist, and some of the happiest memories in my childhood are memories I made in my church and with my youth group. I absolutely LOVED both of my pastors and both of my youth pastors, as well as the numerous mentors I had from my church family.

  Just like the rest of the world, there are all kinds of people who are involved with their churches. That includes abusers, people with borderline personality disorder, people with narcissistic
personality disorder, and people with other related issues. There are some absolutely wonderful pastors, just like the pastors I had when I was growing up, but there are also some pastors who do absolutely horrific things. Unfortunately, Abraham falls under the latter category. You’ll also see him swearing in some of the abuse scenes. This is something that I’ve experienced firsthand, so, while it might seem odd, I stand by the choice I made to write the abuse the way I wrote it.

  This story was very difficult to write, and I tried to do it in a way that’s still respectful to the church. I gave Darla and Brendan an absolutely fabulous youth pastor, whose personality is based on the youth pastor I had in high school (although his backstory is NOT taken from reality). I also did my best to show that Darla and Brendan’s faith is still important to them, despite everything that happens to them.

  Okay, thanks for coming to my TED Talk…which ended up being way longer than a quick note. But, if you know me at all, did you really expect anything less? Now you may start reading, and I hope you fall in love with Darla, Brendan, and their friends as much as I did while I was writing their story.

  -Carmen

  For Katey, my Canadian Brain, Wonder Alpha, and sister from another mister.

  I have faith that you’ll find your happily ever after one day, but until then, the Father of Swoony Words is all yours. Love you!

  “They are in the very wrath of love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part them.”

  – Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act 5 Scene 2

  Prologue

  Brendan

  Like a Child

  AUGUST 1995

  “Does anyone have any prayer requests or praises this week?” Peter, our youth pastor, asked as our youth group service came to a close.

  I took a deep breath and raised my hand.

  “What’s on your mind, Brendan?” Peter asked.

  “Um, you guys know my baby brother, Nate, was diagnosed with asthma a few months ago,” I started. “So my parents had to withdraw me from St. Bishop’s because they couldn’t afford the tuition anymore with his medication. I’m starting ninth grade at Charleston High tomorrow, and I’m kind of nervous about it.”

  Was that lame? Yeah, probably. But going from a graduating class of twenty to a graduating class of almost four hundred was intimidating. And my parents had been drilling into my head about not caving to peer pressure and about all the evils of the world all summer long, so I had absolutely no idea what I’d be walking into. I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be the cesspool of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll that my parents were convinced it was going to be, but I had a feeling I’d be in for a little bit of a culture shock.

  “Me too,” my friend Heather said. “Well, not switching from private school to public school, but I’m starting ninth grade tomorrow.”

  “You’ll be fine, guys,” Alex, who was a year older than me, said. “Come find me if you need someone to show you around.”

  “Or me,” Allie, who was going into her senior year, added. “I promise I won’t send you to the opposite end of campus like a couple of seniors did to me when I was a freshman.”

  Everyone chuckled a little, including Peter. For a youth pastor, he was actually pretty cool. He didn’t let us call him Mr. Peter, Mr. Schultz, or even Pastor Peter. He insisted on us just calling him Peter. And his wife, Marie, insisted on being called by her first name too. They’d only been here for a few months, and they were way cooler and more laid-back than our previous youth pastor and his wife.

  “Anyone else?” Peter asked.

  “My mom’s going in for her knee replacement this week,” Naomi, who was a couple of years younger than me, piped up.

  “That’s right. Thank you for reminding me,” he said. “Darla, how’s your mom doing since her MS diagnosis?”

  “Pretty good,” Darla mumbled, barely audible. “But you can pray for her too if you want.”

  Taking a glance at the girl I’d known for most of my life, I could tell she was anything but comfortable with Peter bringing that up to the group like that.

  Honestly, I wasn’t sure how Darla’s father, Pastor Abraham Jones, would feel about it either. He and his wife, Gloria, tried to keep to themselves as much as possible, and he kept Darla on a leash so tight that it almost suffocated her. I’d always thought it was weird for the head of our church to be so sensitive about his family’s private life, but apparently it was just me. Everyone else just seemed to accept it as normal and praised him and Miss Gloria for Darla’s meekness and obedience.

  “Okay, if that’s it, let’s pray,” Peter said.

  We all bowed our heads, and most of us closed our eyes.

  Me? I stole another quick glance at the pastor’s daughter as she rested her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands and lowering her head to rest on them. Her shoulders sagged as if the weight of the world was on them, and I wished I knew what was bothering her so much. I could tell there was something she wasn’t saying, but I had no idea what it was.

  I wished she’d tell me. I couldn’t stand seeing that light I’d always loved about her dimming a little bit more every time I saw her. I wanted more than anything to find a way to bring it out again, but I had no idea how.

  I shook my head, then bowed it and closed my eyes to join the rest of the group in prayer. I had to be crazy, thinking about Darla Jones like that. I mean, she’d just turned twelve years old a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I was fourteen, so it wasn’t that much of an age difference, but still. She was still in middle school, and I was about to start high school.

  Please forgive me, Lord, I prayed silently. Forgive my wayward thoughts. Keep me on the path of righteousness.

  “Lord, we thank You for this day and for this opportunity to gather in fellowship,” Peter started. “We thank You for the lessons we learned from Your Word today, and we ask that You help us apply them in our day-to-day lives. Lord, everyone in this room is about to start a new school year, some of them in a new school and an unfamiliar environment, and I just want to lift them all up to You. I ask that You give them peace and guidance as they start their studies, and I ask that You give them the strength and the courage to resist whatever temptations come their way.

  “Lord, I lift up Mrs. Rhee to You as she goes in for her knee replacement surgery this week. Please give her Your peace, and please watch over the doctors and nurses who will be caring for her and guide the hands of the surgeons. I also ask that You continue to work in Mrs. Jones’s life. If it’s Your will, Lord, I ask that You show her doctors a miracle and remove this sickness from her body, and if not, I ask that You give her the strength, courage, and patience to withstand her treatments. I also ask that You ease her pain and bring her comfort in this difficult time. And for all of us, as we go into the world this week, I ask that You show us opportunities to do Your work. I ask all this in Jesus’ holy Name, amen.”

  As I opened my eyes again, a glance at the clock in the room told me that it was still a little early. I headed over to the table with the food on it and grabbed another chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles out of the Krispy Kreme box.

  “So, you’re not going to St. Bishop’s anymore?” I heard Darla mumble from beside me.

  I smiled as I turned to look at her. A puff of powdered sugar exploded around her as she took a bite out of a powdered donut, and she turned bright red while she grabbed a napkin and tried futilely to clean it off her face.

  “Nope,” I told her. “It sucks, but Nate getting his medicine is more important.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ll miss seeing you every day, though,” she said, turning a few shades darker.

  I fought the urge to chuckle. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew she’d been nursing a little bit of a crush on me for the past year or so, and it was actually kind of adorable. Especially right now, when she was obviously embarrassed about something as silly as making a mess out of a powdered sugar donut. I mean, being real, who didn’t make a mess out of those things anyway?

  “Y
ou’ll still see me,” I promised. “I mean, unless you stop coming to church every Sunday and Wednesday.”

  She giggled uncomfortably, like the mere thought of not coming to church was too much to handle. But I didn’t get the sense that her discomfort was still being nervous talking to me. It was more like she was afraid of what the consequences would be.

  “Like my dad would ever let that happen,” she muttered.

  Before I could prod her for more information – even though I had absolutely no idea what I’d be able to do with said information – there was a knock on the youth room door, and then it opened.

  “Ben-Ben!” my two-year-old brother, Nathan, squealed as he zoomed into the room ahead of my parents. That was as close to “Brendan” as he could get right now.

  “Hey, squirt,” I teased as he wrapped himself around my leg like a koala bear on a eucalyptus tree. “Can you say hi to Darla?”

  “Hi, Dawa,” he garbled.

  “Hey, little man,” she laughed, a grin spreading across her face, then looked at my mom and dad. “Hi, Mr. James. Hi, Miss Ruth. How are you?”

  “Just fine, Darla,” my dad said cordially. “You all ready for school to start?”

  “Yes, sir,” she sighed. “Heard Brendan’s not coming back this year. Sucks that we won’t be seeing him around as much.”